Becki Newton plays Amanda on UGLY BETTY

The first time I heard Amanda’s character on Ugly Betty refer to Cliff’s character as “Trans Fatty” it made me angry. Very, very angry.

My anger is understandable. Being overweight most all of my life (and knowing first hand how hurtful verbal body bashing can be), I am fairly thin-skinned when myself or others are being put down because of our my/our weight. TV’s Judge Judy said: “Beauty fades but dumb is forever”. In 20 years (or less) I predict that most “beautiful” body bigots will be pretty haggard looking themselves. Today’s twink usually becomes tomorrow’s slob! And f you want to see REAL ugliness, look into the mind and heart of a bigot.

Yes, Amanda got me angry. But eventually I calmed down and decided that the name TransFatty wasn’t all that bad — or at least it had potential! I have come to embrace this name for myself and this blog. Today I don’t mind being called TransFatty — as long as you understand that my definition makes turns around an intended slur into a compliment. You see, I’m a “fat man in transition as I work to loose weight”.

To enhance the quality of my physical health and well-being I’ve placed a high priority on weight loss. Weight Watchers’ POINTS food plan and working a program of 12 Step spirituality has helped me release nearly 85 pounds, one pound at a time. The truth is that all of us who struggle with food addiction ARE “good enough” no matter what our weight. And no matter what hateful twinks say about us!

The two faces of actor David Blue, who portrays Cliff on UGLY BETTY

I still don’t appreciate folks who, like Amanda’s character and many gay men, choose to verbally bash people who, like me, aren’t “height-weight proportionate”. As a matter of fact, I find myself attacted to (openly-straight) actor David Blue, who plays Marc’s boyfriend Cliff on Ugly Betty. He has a face I find to be truly handsome and some delicious curves befitting a truly handsome “man of size”. If you got “some curves” and you’re gay, single and looking…please DO drop me a line!

“Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right…”
I’m more than fed up (NO pun intended) with the epidemic of “body bigotry” in the world of gay men. It is hypocritcal (at best) for GAY men who (as we should) demand equality to turn around and bash other gay men because of their body weight.

I’ve been aware of this issue many years when I first I began reading personal ads by/for gay men. Did you ever just want to SCREAM when you read the words “No fats”?!? I don’t care if another gay man is attracted to only men who are “height-weight proportionate”, but I absolutely will not tolerate body bashing comments or lookes just because I don’t meet your definition of ’studly”.

What about the bear community (e.g., gay men of size)? If other people (gay men or otherwise) want to remain obese, I dont judge them. I also surely don’t need them putting me down for wanting to lose weight. Yes, some of these self-identified “bears” DO bash gay men like me for wanting to lose weight).

So whatever shape or size you happen to be, I’m glad you’ve found my blog!!! Care to share your story about being body bashed by other gay men? Write to editor@theletteronline.com.